Soft Hands and a Poodle

Some children are drawn to noise.
Some are drawn to movement.
Amira was drawn to warmth.

From the very beginning, before she had words, before she had steady steps, she had hands. Curious hands. Searching hands. Hands that wanted to feel the world before they understood it.

And in that world, there was Toby.

He was already there when she arrived. Large. Black. Calm. Breathing slowly on the floor beside us. He did not know what a baby meant. He did not know that everything was about to change. But he sensed it. He softened in ways I did not expect.

As Amira grew from infant to wobbly toddler, she discovered him the way children discover everything. Through touch.

Her small fingers would reach for his fur first. That soft, warm coat that held the faint scent of outdoors and home at the same time. She would press her hand into his back and pause, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing under her palm. Sometimes she would just stay there, as if she had found something grounding without knowing the word for it.

Toby never moved away.

He adjusted himself to her.

He lowered his head.
He leaned gently into her touch.
He made himself safe.

She reached for his ears next. Those silky ears that toddlers love to explore. She would hold them, study them, sometimes tug a little too much, and Toby would simply blink slowly and remain still, patient beyond reason.

Then she discovered his face.

His cheeks.
His whiskers.
His snoot.

And finally, his mouth.

Not with fear. Not with hesitation. But with that pure, fearless curiosity only very young children have. She would place her tiny hand near his muzzle and wait.

And Toby, always understanding more than we gave him credit for, would respond with the gentlest lick. Not wet. Not messy. Just enough to say, “I’m here.”

It became their language.

She would reach.
He would reassure.

When she was tired, when she was quiet, when something felt big in her little world, she would gravitate toward him. And he would give her that same steady presence. That warm breathing. That soft fur. That unconditional acceptance dogs seem to be born knowing how to offer.

As she grew older, their bond shifted in small, funny ways.

After meals, her hands would be sticky, covered in yogurt or pasta sauce or whatever chaos toddlers create at dinner. She would look at her hands, then look at Toby.

And Toby would already be there.

She would present them proudly, and he would clean them with solemn dedication, as if it were the most important task of the evening. A professional butler in service of his little human.

It made us laugh.

But beneath the humor was something deeper.

Toby was big. He could be invasive. He could be loud. He could take up too much space on the couch. But with Amira, he became deliberate. Measured. Gentle.

He lowered himself to her height.
He matched her energy.
He offered her a kind of loyalty that does not ask questions.

There is something about watching your child place their trust in a dog that changes you. It is fragile and powerful at the same time. You realize that love does not always need explanation. It can simply exist in the quiet exchange between soft hands and warm fur.

When I look back at those pictures, what I see is not just a baby and a poodle.

I see a little girl learning that the world can be safe.
I see a dog choosing patience over impulse.
I see a bond that needed no words and no conditions.

A child reaching for comfort.
A dog answering without hesitation.

And if you have ever been a parent with a dog beside you, you know exactly what that feels like. You know that mix of gratitude and awe. You know that silent thank you you whisper to the animal who helps raise your child in ways you never could alone.

Classic Toby.

Not just a pet.
Not just a companion.

Her steady big brother.
Her soft place to land.

The Orthopedic Throne (Bedroom Edition)

At some point, Stephanie decided that Toby deserved better sleep.

Not “better than average.”

Better.

His existing dog bed was fine. Respectable. Soft. Entirely appropriate for a large standard poodle.

But apparently, we had been underperforming.

So began the research phase.

Foam density.
Orthopedic certifications.
Joint support.
Neck bolsters.
Temperature regulation.

I am fairly certain there were medical diagrams involved.

And then it arrived.

A bed so large that the delivery driver looked at me with quiet concern.

It was enormous.

Thick memory foam. Elevated sides. Reinforced lumbar zones. Structured head support. It looked less like a dog bed and more like a rehabilitation center mattress for retired athletes.

The price was bold enough that my credit card company called to confirm I was not financing a small studio apartment.

“Yes sir, are you aware of this transaction?”

Unfortunately, yes.

Now here is where it gets good.

This majestic orthopedic throne was not placed in the living room.

No.

It was installed.

At the foot of our queen bed.

Inside the master bedroom.

Which meant that basic passage from one side of the room to the other now required navigation skills. You either squeezed carefully between mattress and wall or performed a small sideways shuffle to avoid stepping on the poodle’s premium sleep estate.

We had reorganized our bedroom around Toby’s spinal health.

Priorities were clear.

And of course, the throne did not come alone.

Blankets.
Multiple blankets.
Pillows.

His majesty had options.

One soft fleece.
One thicker winter blanket.
Occasionally a decorative pillow that suspiciously resembled ours.

He would arrange himself perfectly. Head resting on the bolster. Body aligned. Blankets draped just enough to maintain comfort without sacrificing dignity.

He loved it.

Stephanie loved it.

And then the true betrayal unfolded.

Some nights, Stephanie would lie down next to him “just for a minute.”

Just to cuddle.
Just to see how comfortable it was.

Next thing I knew, I would wake up in the middle of the night and realize my wife was not in our bed.

She was asleep.

On Toby’s orthopedic throne.

Head on his pillow. Blanket pulled up. Toby stretched beside her, completely unbothered, as if this had been the plan all along.

I stood there once, looking at the scene.

My wife.
My dog.
Sharing a mattress more expensive than my first car.

And me.

Alone.

Toby 1
Husband 0

The bed remained at the foot of ours for years. A daily reminder that somewhere along the way, the poodle had secured not only premium back support but also a clear emotional victory.

Classic Toby.
Rearranged the master bedroom.
Secured luxury bedding.
Outranked the husband.

Lullabies for a Poodle

The keyboard had been there long before Toby.

Music has always been part of my life. The instrument was already sitting in the living room when we adopted him. But for the first few weeks, I did not touch it.

I was not sure how he would react.

New home. New people. New smells. I did not know if the sound would overwhelm him. I did not know if it would feel like too much stimulation for a dog who was still adjusting.

So I waited.

A few weeks later, one evening, I decided to try.

Part One: The Discovery

I sat down at the keyboard and started softly. Nothing loud. Nothing dramatic. Just a simple lullaby. Slow. Gentle. Repetitive.

Toby was nearby, half paying attention.

Within seconds, I heard the shuffle of paws.

He walked toward the sofa. Climbed up. Turned once. And then stretched himself out fully, long and elegant, claiming his space as if he had always done this.

I kept playing.

Halfway through the melody, I heard it.

A long, exaggerated sigh.

Not irritation.
Not confusion.

Contentment.

Then came the soft whistle of air escaping his nose as he exhaled deeply.

By the time I reached the end of the piece, Toby was completely gone. Eyes closed. Breathing slow. Fully asleep.

And then, the snore.

Not subtle.
Not shy.

Actual snoring.

I stopped playing and just looked at him.

I had been worried the music would overstimulate him.

Instead, I had accidentally discovered his favorite genre.

Lullabies.

Part Two: The Ritual

After that, it became a ritual between us.

Whenever I sat down and began something slow and gentle, Toby would appear.

No invitation needed.

He would make his way to the sofa with purpose. If Stephanie was already sitting there, he did not hesitate. He would stretch out anyway. Gradually expanding until she had no choice but to adjust.

Even later, when Amira was around, when the house was louder and busier, when life felt fuller and more chaotic, Toby kept the ritual intact.

Music started.
Toby moved.

He would climb up, stretch across the sofa like it was custom designed for him, release that same long sigh, and within minutes, pass out.

The yawn would come first. A wide, theatrical yawn as if to say, “Yes, this is my cue.”

Then the breathing slowed.

Then the snoring began.

Sometimes I would be mid song and have to compete with him.

There is something deeply moving about that memory. Not dramatic. Not grand. Just quiet. A dog choosing your music as the safest place in the room.

He did not applaud.
He did not request encores.
He did not critique.

He just came closer.
Stretched out.
And trusted the sound enough to fall asleep.

Classic Toby.
Curious about everything.
Completely undone by a lullaby.

Teeth

There is a concept every animal owner understands.

It is called “teeth.”

Not aggression.
Not snarling.
Not drama.

Just… teeth.

That tiny little moment when your pet stretches, yawns, relaxes, or simply exists in a way that allows one small canine to peek out from under the lip. Completely accidental. Completely harmless. Completely adorable.

Toby was no exception.

He would stretch and suddenly, there it was.
A small white fang making a surprise appearance.

He would yawn and one tooth would refuse to fully retreat.

He would relax on the couch and somehow, for no logical reason, a single canine would stick out just enough to make him look mildly suspicious.

The funniest part?

He genuinely seemed to believe no one noticed.

There is a photo I took that captures this perfectly. Toby sitting calmly, almost smiling, clearly attempting to look composed and dignified. His lips relaxed. His expression soft.

And right there.

The tooth.

Just slightly exposed.
Just enough to ruin the illusion.

It gave him a permanently mischievous look. Like he had a secret. Like he was about to say something inappropriate at a dinner party.

Whenever I spotted it, I would announce it.

“Teeth.”

Toby would blink slowly, pretending nothing was happening.

And then, because I could not resist, I would reach over and gently touch the little exposed canine.

The reaction was immediate.

A quick lip adjustment.
A subtle head movement.
A look of complete and utter dismay.

The message was clear.
“How dare you.”

He would shift his mouth, tuck the tooth back in, and stare at me with betrayed dignity. As if I had just violated an unspoken agreement between us.

But of course, it would happen again.

Another stretch.
Another yawn.
Another rebellious little fang making its appearance.

And I would point.

“Teeth.”

Classic Toby.
Trying to look refined.
Undone by one tiny canine.

The Balkan Grandma Incident

Every dog owner has that moment.

That moment where you look at your dog and think,
“This would be hilarious with a small accessory.”

In our case, it was a bandana.

Not around the neck.
That would have been reasonable.
No.

We gently tied it over Toby’s head.

Just for a picture.
Just for a second.
Just to see.

And that is when we discovered something important.

Toby had standards.

The bandana sat perfectly. Tied under his chin, framing his face in a way that, for reasons I still cannot explain, immediately gave off strong Eastern European village grandma vibes.

Not sweet grandma.

I mean intense grandma.

The kind who supervises from a balcony. The kind who judges your posture. The kind who has very strong opinions about how things should be done.

Stephanie and I burst out laughing.

Toby did not.

The moment the fabric touched his head, his expression shifted. He froze. His eyes narrowed slightly. His whole face communicated a single message.

This is unacceptable.

Then came the coughing.

Not a gentle cough.
An aggressive, deliberate cough.

The kind of cough that says, “There is clearly something lodged here and I demand its immediate removal.”

He coughed once.
Twice.
Looked at us.
Coughed again.

The message was clear. He was attempting to medically justify the removal of this indignity.

I managed to snap the photo at exactly the right moment. And it is to die for. Toby, sitting perfectly still, bandana tied neatly, eyes filled with betrayal, mid aggressive cough. A poodle who had clearly not approved this casting decision.

The second we untied it, he shook his head violently, as if cleansing himself of the entire experience.

Balance restored.
Identity reclaimed.

We never attempted headwear again.

Some dogs tolerate costumes.
Some dogs enjoy being dressed up.

Toby allowed many things in life.

But he would not go down in history as someone’s Balkan grandma.

Classic Toby.
Patient.
But deeply opposed to head accessories.

The Princess of Public Safety

When I became EMS Chief in Côte Saint Luc, Toby naturally became the actual Chief.

But every Chief needs a morning routine.

And Toby’s routine started with Una.

Every morning, without fail, Toby would make his way toward the front office. Not casually. Not by accident. Deliberately. With purpose. With the quiet confidence of someone who knew exactly what he was doing.

He was not there to review reports.
He was not there to coordinate operations.
He was there for breakfast.

Una loved Toby. And Toby loved Una. There was a mutual understanding between them. A gentle affection that turned into one of the most adorable workplace rituals I have ever witnessed.

Now to be fair, Una did not always hand feed him. Toby had a bowl like a normal dog. He was perfectly capable of eating on his own.

But the station was busy. Phones ringing. Medics walking in and out. Radios chirping. Conversations happening everywhere. Sometimes Toby would get distracted by the activity and forget to focus on his food.

And that is when Una would step in.

She would sit near him, pick up one of his large nuggets, and gently offer it to him by hand to help him “refocus.” Not as indulgence. Not as permanent protocol. Just as a little encouragement when the world felt too interesting.

Toby would accept the nugget with exaggerated delicacy. Slow. Gentle. Intent. As if evaluating the culinary standards of the Côte Saint Luc EMS breakfast program.

It was impossible not to laugh.

There he was, a black standard poodle, sitting in the administrative office, being encouraged to eat like a visiting dignitary who needed personal attention during his meal.

Staff would walk by and shake their heads.

“Is he being hand fed again?”

Sometimes.

Only when necessary.

Only when distracted.

But Toby remembered.

And that is where the problem began.

Because after a full day of being gently encouraged to eat at work, Toby would come home.

Stephanie or I would place his bowl down. Proper portion. Balanced. Responsible.

Toby would look at it.

Then look at us.

Then look back at the bowl.

Then back at us again.

Those eyes.

The eyes of expectation.

The subtle tilt of the head that clearly said,
“I believe the service model has changed.”

He would sit and wait.

Not dramatically. Not aggressively. Just patiently. As if we had temporarily forgotten the correct feeding procedure.

I would look back at him with the most exaggerated expression I could manage.

“Absolutely not.”

Dude. No way.

You are a dog.

Sometimes he would try to hold out. A quiet protest. A hunger strike in hopes that standards would improve.

With me, it almost never worked.

With Stephanie… occasionally.

Just enough to reinforce his belief that the strategy was viable.

And so he tried.
Regularly.

Work Toby was gently assisted when distracted.

Home Toby attempted to renegotiate the terms of service.

Classic Toby.
Princess at headquarters.
Union representative at home.
Always testing the boundaries of royal privilege.

The Chicken Heist That Never Was

The dog park was supposed to be freedom.

A large fenced area.
No leash.
Space to run.
Dogs everywhere.

Toby was finally free to play.

Except Toby did not play like other dogs.

While everyone else ran, wrestled, and chased balls, Toby walked. He sniffed. He observed. He analyzed. He moved slowly, like royalty inspecting its domain. He did not waste energy. He did not engage in nonsense. He was there to assess.

Everything was calm.
Everything was peaceful.

And then it happened.

A delivery car drove by.

Not just any delivery car.
A red Benny & Co rotisserie chicken delivery car.
With the iconic chicken comb sitting proudly on top of the roof.

The audacity.

Somewhere deep inside Toby’s soul, something snapped.

How dare they.
How dare they transport chicken.
And how dare it not be for him.

In that exact moment, Toby abandoned all dignity.

He launched himself across the dog park like a man on a mission. Barking aggressively at the moving car, running full speed along the fence line, completely convinced that if he barked hard enough, the chicken would surrender itself.

Thank God the fences were tall.
And solid.
And long.

The delivery driver slowed down, clearly confused. One moment delivering chicken, the next being chased by an enraged black poodle screaming accusations through metal fencing.

People at the dog park stopped.
Dogs paused mid play.
Humans laughed.
Some looked worried.

The driver looked back, trying to understand why a poodle was yelling at his vehicle with such conviction.

Toby did not care.

Bark bark.
Bak bak.
Honestly, it was unclear what language he was speaking.

But the message was obvious.

“I want my chicken.”

He chased that car as far as the fence allowed. When it finally disappeared from view, Toby stopped abruptly, stood still, and stared at the empty road with deep disappointment.

He had failed.

No chicken.
No justice.
Only betrayal.

Then, as if nothing had happened, Toby turned around, sniffed the grass, and resumed his slow royal walk through the park.

Mission attempted.
Standards upheld.

Classic Toby.
Free to play.
Chose chaos instead.

Balcony Surveillance Duty

At some point, Toby decided he had a job.

We lived in a condo facing the Mont Saint Hilaire train station. It was a busy street. Trains passing. Cars stopping. People walking. Dogs being walked. Bikes rushing by. For a smart poodle with an eye for detail, it was endlessly fascinating.

Being on the first floor gave him the perfect vantage point. High enough to see everything. Low enough to be seen.

One afternoon, Stephanie noticed something unusual.
Toby was quiet.

No pacing.
No barking.
No dramatic sighs.

That alone was suspicious.

She stepped out onto the balcony to see what he was up to.

And there he was.

Toby had climbed onto the balcony chair and carefully positioned himself on the armrest. Not awkwardly. Not halfway. Perfectly. Sitting upright like a child who had been told to sit nicely and wait.

Back straight.
Paws placed neatly in front of him.
Eyes forward.

He looked serious. Focused. Almost professional.

Stephanie stood there for a moment, trying to understand what she was witnessing. Then she started laughing. The kind of laughter that takes over completely because the image in front of you makes no sense and all the sense at the same time.

She called me over.
I looked.
And immediately lost it.

There was our poodle, perched on the armrest like a tiny security guard, quietly overseeing the neighbourhood.

From his elevated command post, Toby watched everything below. Dogs walking by were carefully assessed. Humans passing through were observed. Sometimes he would let out a soft whine. Sometimes a perfectly timed bark. Just enough to remind everyone that yes, someone was watching.

People below would slow down.
They would look around.
Then they would look up.

And there he was.

A black poodle sitting politely on a balcony chair arm, staring down with calm judgment. Walkers would laugh. Some would wave. Some would stop and take a second look, clearly trying to process what they were seeing.

Toby accepted the attention without moving.
This was his post.

Stephanie grabbed her phone and snapped the picture at exactly the right moment. Perfect posture. Perfect timing. A poodle fully committed to his role.

The funniest part was how long he stayed there. He did not sprawl. He did not shift. He did not get distracted. He sat. He watched. He supervised.

Classic Toby.
Head of balcony security.
Always on duty.

Chief Squirrel Compliance Officer

Every dog has an enemy.

For some, it is the mail carrier.
For others, it is vacuum cleaners.
For Toby, it was squirrels.

Specifically, urban squirrels. The confident ones. The ones who knew exactly what they were doing. The ones who dared to exist within his line of sight.

Living near the Mont Saint Hilaire train station meant squirrels were everywhere. Running across sidewalks. Climbing trees. Sitting on fences like they owned the place. To Toby, this was unacceptable.

From the moment he spotted one, his entire demeanor changed.

His posture stiffened.
His head tilted slightly forward.
His eyes locked on target.

This was no longer casual observation.
This was a situation.

He did not bark immediately. That would have been beneath him. Instead, he produced a low, offended sound from deep in his chest. A warning. A notice of presence. A formal announcement that rules existed here.

Sometimes the squirrel stopped.
Sometimes it stared back.
Sometimes it flicked its tail.

That tail flick was personal.

Toby would lean forward, muscles tight, clearly debating whether this was the day he would finally handle the squirrel problem once and for all. He never moved beyond the boundary of reason, but his disappointment was visible.

On walks, squirrels became his main distraction. He could ignore cars. He could ignore people. He could tolerate dogs. But a squirrel crossing the sidewalk? Unacceptable.

He would freeze mid walk, mid step, mid sniff. The leash would go taut. His attention fully consumed by the audacity of a small rodent existing freely.

Sometimes the squirrel would climb a tree and sit just high enough to be safe. That was the worst outcome. Toby would stand there, staring upward, convinced that if he waited long enough, justice would prevail.

It never did.

From the balcony, the situation escalated. The higher vantage point gave Toby the illusion of authority. Squirrels below became targets of intense supervision. Every movement tracked. Every pause logged. Every glance returned with judgment.

Toby never forgot a squirrel.
He remembered routes.
He remembered patterns.
He remembered repeat offenders.

And yet, despite all his vigilance, squirrels remained undefeated.

Still, Toby took his role seriously. Someone had to enforce the rules. Someone had to make sure the squirrels knew they were being watched.

And even if they did not care, Toby did.

Classic Toby.
Chief Squirrel Compliance Officer.
Zero victories.
Unwavering dedication.

The Christmas He Belonged To

Christmas has a way of bringing certain presences back with it.

The lights go up. The air turns colder. The evenings grow quieter. And even years later, this season still carries Toby with it, gently and insistently, like a memory that knows exactly when to return.

In 2020 and 2021, Christmas was different. The world slowed down. Doors closed. Gatherings disappeared. It was just us at home with a very young Amira, learning how to be a family while everything outside felt uncertain.

And through all of it, Toby was there.

He did not need a role.
He did not need a purpose.
He simply existed in the space with us.

He lay near the tree while the lights blinked softly. He followed us from room to room, always nearby but never demanding attention. He curled up beside Amira on the floor, watching her explore the world in small, careful movements. He slept close during long winter evenings when the cold pressed against the windows and the house felt especially still.

Toby became the quiet warmth of those Christmases.

When the outside world felt heavy and unpredictable, he brought something steady into the house. Not excitement. Not distraction. Just presence. The kind that makes you feel like, for this moment, everything is exactly where it should be.

Christmas mornings were simple. No rush. No visitors. No noise. Just paper being torn, Amira’s curiosity, and Toby occasionally stealing a piece of wrapping paper and carrying it away like it was meant just for him.

He was our entertainment.
He was our comfort.
He was our calm.

This Christmas is not the first without Toby.
It is the third.

Time has moved on, as it always does. Life has taken turns we did not predict. But when Christmas comes back around, Toby comes with it. Not as a solution, not as a symbol of unity, but as a memory that still carries weight.

Back during those COVID Christmases, when the world felt closed and uncertain, Toby was simply there. He did not try to fix anything. He did not understand what was happening outside our walls. He only knew his home, his people, and his quiet place within it.

That is what I remember most.

Not a perfect family moment.
Not a promise of permanence.
Just a dog who filled the room with warmth when everything else felt smaller.

Toby belonged to that chapter. Fully and honestly. He was part of those Christmases the way only a dog can be. Completely present. Completely unaware of what would come later.

Now, years after he is gone, those memories do not feel lighter. They feel heavier, because they are finished. But they are still his. They are not about what stayed or what changed. They are about who he was when he was here.

Toby does not represent what life looks like now.
He represents a time when his quiet presence was enough to make the season feel whole.

And that is how I choose to remember him.

Not as something that held everything together forever, but as a steady, loving presence that existed exactly when we needed it.

Classic Toby.
Exactly where he belonged.
Exactly when he belonged.