Category: Laughs

One of the things that always made Stephanie and me laugh was that Toby occasionally decided weekends were beneath him. During the week, he was remarkably disciplined. He knew exactly when breakfast happened, exactly when it was time for a walk, and exactly when I had waited long enough before taking him outside. His internal…

One of Toby’s most remarkable talents was his ability to know exactly when his enthusiasm had gotten the better of him. Not before, mind you. During the event, he was always fully committed to his decision making. It was only afterward, once the excitement had faded and he had a chance to evaluate the expression…

One of the things Toby never fully accepted was that winter applied to him too. Now, if you’ve read the story about the winter coat, the gloves, and the extensive diplomatic negotiations required to get His Majesty dressed before leaving the house, you’ll already know that Toby viewed Quebec winters as a personal inconvenience. Not…

At some point, Stephanie decided that Toby deserved better sleep. Not “better than average.” Better. His existing dog bed was fine. Respectable. Soft. Entirely appropriate for a large standard poodle. But apparently, we had been underperforming. So began the research phase. Foam density.Orthopedic certifications.Joint support.Neck bolsters.Temperature regulation. I am fairly certain there were medical diagrams…

Every dog owner has that moment. That moment where you look at your dog and think,“This would be hilarious with a small accessory.” In our case, it was a bandana. Not around the neck.That would have been reasonable.No. We gently tied it over Toby’s head. Just for a picture.Just for a second.Just to see. And…

The dog park was supposed to be freedom. A large fenced area.No leash.Space to run.Dogs everywhere. Toby was finally free to play. Except Toby did not play like other dogs. While everyone else ran, wrestled, and chased balls, Toby walked. He sniffed. He observed. He analyzed. He moved slowly, like royalty inspecting its domain. He…

At some point, Toby decided he had a job. We lived in a condo facing the Mont Saint Hilaire train station. It was a busy street. Trains passing. Cars stopping. People walking. Dogs being walked. Bikes rushing by. For a smart poodle with an eye for detail, it was endlessly fascinating. Being on the first…

Every dog has an enemy. For some, it is the mail carrier.For others, it is vacuum cleaners.For Toby, it was squirrels. Specifically, urban squirrels. The confident ones. The ones who knew exactly what they were doing. The ones who dared to exist within his line of sight. Living near the Mont Saint Hilaire train station…

Every dog has a toy phase.Toby had an obsession. For reasons no one will ever fully understand, Toby developed an intense, lifelong passion for squeaky toys shaped like salamanders or dinosaurs. Not balls. Not ropes. Not plush animals.Only long, weird, prehistoric creatures that screamed when bitten. Once he chose one, that was it.The toy became…

Any dog owner will tell you that dogs sleep in strange positions.But Toby did not just sleep strangely.Toby turned sleeping into an Olympic performance. He had a repertoire.A full catalog of poses.A menu of shapes no living creature should be able to achieve. There was the Couch Potato, where he sprawled across every cushion like…