Category: Laughs

  • The Poodle Who Refused to Swim

    Poodles are supposed to be water dogs.They are literally bred for it.They have webbed paws, strong legs, proud posture and the confidence of Olympic divers.That is the legend. And then there was Toby. Toby and water had a relationship best described as two extremely cynical friends who barely tolerate each other. He was curious enough…

  • Rockette and the Awkward Romance

    Every legendary hero has a love interest.Toby had Rockette. Rockette belongs to my good friend Nick. She is a beautiful brown and white dog with short hair, calm eyes and a grounded personality. The kind of dog who observes everything quietly and decides only afterward whether anything is worth reacting to. Toby, on the other…

  • The Accidental Poodle Selfie

    There is a rule that every dog owner learns eventually.It is a simple rule.A universal rule.A rule created by chaos itself. Never leave your phone on a sofa that your dog believes belongs to him.Not even for one minute.Not even to go to the bathroom. I learned this the hard way. Toby had claimed a…

  • The Day We Adopted a Sheep

    When Stephanie and I decided to adopt a dog in December 2018, we imagined welcoming home a graceful, energetic, perfectly proportioned standard poodle. What we got instead was a sheep. Toby’s previous owner was a kind older gentleman who loved him deeply. Unfortunately, his work hours had become long and unpredictable. To make sure Toby…

  • The Winter Wardrobe Struggle

    Winter in Quebec is not a season. It is a survival challenge.Near Mont Saint Hilaire, where Stephanie and I lived, the wind was something else. It did not blow. It attacked. It wrapped around the house like it was trying to repossess it. It made trees bend in ways trees should never bend. It made…

  • The Snow Addict

    Some dogs enjoy snow.Toby did not enjoy it. Toby worshipped it. Whenever the first snowfall arrived, most people in Quebec groaned. Stephanie sighed. I mentally prepared for shoveling. The entire population braced for winter. But Toby?Toby saw snow and immediately lost his mind. He did not just want to play in it. He wanted to…

  • Caniche Cleaning Services

    Every family has its own little expressions, the kind that belong only to the people who lived together.One of ours was “Caniche Cleaning Services.” Toby took this title very seriously. Whenever food fell on the floor, Stephanie and I did not bend down to pick it up. We summoned the professional. All it took was…

  • Toby’s Very Confused Racism

    Every dog has quirks.Some chase their tails.Some bark at the vacuum.Toby had something far more embarrassing. He was inexplicably, impossibly, ridiculously confused by our Black friends and any Black person he saw nearby. The first time it happened, Stephanie and I nearly collapsed from shock. Toby, the gentlest creature to ever exist, the dog who…

  • The Weather Curse

    If there was one thing Toby perfected in his lifetime, it was choosing the worst possible moment to request a bathroom break. We live in Quebec, which means the weather does whatever it wants. One moment it is calm and sunny, the next moment it becomes a snow explosion, an ice rink, sideways rain, or…

  • The Muffin Betrayal

    There were many things Toby believed with complete confidence. He believed all couches were designed specifically for him.He believed all visitors arrived with the intention of admiring him.And most importantly, he believed that any cooking happening in the house was obviously for him. This rule had no exceptions.If a human was in the kitchen, Toby…