There is a rule that every dog owner learns eventually.
It is a simple rule.
A universal rule.
A rule created by chaos itself.
Never leave your phone on a sofa that your dog believes belongs to him.
Not even for one minute.
Not even to go to the bathroom.
I learned this the hard way.
Toby had claimed a specific sofa in the living room as his personal throne. The armrest was his favourite spot. It was the perfect height for dramatic lounging. It was ideal for sighing loudly. It allowed him to look offended at anyone who dared walk by.
One day, I placed my phone on the sofa, went to the bathroom for a quick moment, and came back to find Toby standing over the phone like a bouncer checking IDs at the entrance of a nightclub.
He wanted the armrest.
The phone was in his way.
This was unacceptable.
So he did what Toby always did.
He tried to push the offending object away with his paw.
Except Toby was a poodle, not an engineer.
He hit the screen.
Then he hit it again.
And again.
Somehow, in the process, he managed to turn on the camera.
Then he managed to switch to selfie mode.
Then he managed to trigger the shutter.
And that is how Toby accidentally took one of the greatest selfies I have ever seen.
The photo was not even blurry.
It was perfectly framed.
Toby’s face filled the entire screen.
His eyebrows were raised.
His eyes were squinting.
His expression was pure “What is this thing and why is it in my spot.”
A poodle selfie.
A genuine, unfiltered, annoyed poodle selfie.
Poodle 1.
Eddy’s smartphone 0.
I laughed so hard I nearly peed again, this time from shock rather than the original bathroom break.
I still have the picture saved.
It is Toby’s version of a mugshot.
A portrait of a poodle who believed the world should never get between him and his sofa.
Classic Toby.
Annoyed, dramatic, perfect.