Every dog has quirks.
Some chase their tails.
Some bark at the vacuum.
Toby had something far more embarrassing.
He was inexplicably, impossibly, ridiculously confused by our Black friends and any Black person he saw nearby.
The first time it happened, Stephanie and I nearly collapsed from shock.
Toby, the gentlest creature to ever exist, the dog who greeted strangers like long-lost family members, suddenly froze when he spotted a Black delivery driver walking toward our building. His tail dropped. His posture stiffened. His eyes went wide. Then the horror happened.
A confused little growl.
Not aggressive.
Not angry.
Just pure Toby confusion while staring at a completely innocent person minding their business.
Time stopped.
Stephanie and I reacted instantly.
“Toby, no. Absolutely not.”
“We are so sorry, he does NOT usually do this.”
“He is confused. We swear.”
“He loves everyone. He loves squirrels. He loves the vet. He even loves the mailman.”
“This is mortifying. We apologize.”
And, because panic turns the brain into a blender, one of us added:
“Toby, you are literally black yourself.”
Toby did not care.
He did not even understand the accusation.
It happened more than once.
A Black neighbour in the parking lot.
A Black friend visiting us.
A Black delivery guy dropping off a package.
And every time, Toby would briefly transform into a confused little security alarm.
A harmless, clueless, deeply mistaken alarm.
Five minutes later he was completely fine.
Once his dog-brain finished buffering, he would wag his tail, approach them gently, accept pets, and act like he had known them forever.
He simply needed time to process something that should not have required processing at all.
And every time it happened, Stephanie and I exchanged the same look of horror mixed with resignation.
“Why, Toby.”
“Why are you like this.”
“This is so awkward.”
“We swear we are not raising a problematic poodle.”
We apologized so much that we could have printed apology cards:
“Our dog is confused. We are sorry for the inconvenience.”
In the end, Toby absolutely adored every Black friend or neighbour he ever growled at in confusion. Once he got over his initial shock, he became his usual affectionate self.
But getting to that point was always a painfully awkward journey.
A sweet, gentle, deeply beloved poodle caught in an identity crisis he never solved.
Classic Toby.